Oh hey Mike. This is Mike.
No pictures of his face were taken on this trip, for obvious reasons.
This is Gatz. We won't talk about Gatz too much.
On our arrival our eyes are treated with the rich chocolaty sight of Chief Z hugging children and scalping cowboys.
I like this picture because it has lots of Redskins that make me happy.
So, have you ever been that fucking close to Carlos Fucking Rogers? Then hand him your ball and have him tenderly make his mark? Fuck you.
So this is the story. After a hard evening of playing and Funziez. I arrive at my home and immediatly fuck everyones shit up in Marvel vs Capcom. This takes many energy. Rest was needed. On one last drop of energy I make my way to my computer to find it only to have fallen victim of rape by non other than Josh Gatz. Going on about Redskins and tickets and 10 am. Oh shit training camp.
I prepare the bear and get my ticket. I find my Landry jersey I charge my camera battery and prepare for slumber. Preperation was short. Slumber came fast.
Crosby wakes me up with ramblings of Josh Fucking Gatz some annoying shit hes talking about. I decipher the retarded shit escaping his mouth and remember. Training camp! I change and i am ready as shit.
Were off. Mike Mann drove we listened to all sorts of fun screaming alt rock. All sorts of laughter was had on this trip, but I cannot really recall what happened so.
We were kinda lost. But not really.
We arrive. Chief mother fucking Z is posing with his redskins mobile and taking pictures with a meadly of redskins fanzorz.
This is where Gatz wandered off.
Mike needed to shit and shit he did.
We pretended to leave him.
Hahaha.
We got a spot and sat through a thick heaping pile of stupid shit like marching bands and girls dancing really far away.
Getting signatures is fun as shit. I got 2 cheerleaders and their names were Barbara and amy. Barbara drew a heart on mine.
Then she drew one on Mikes.
Fucking slut.
Then some kickers came out and wowed the crowed with their kicking.
Fuck Sean Suisham.
:[]
The scrimmage was filled with Defensive superiority and strong sense of confusion. But only on my end. It was hard to see and this dude smelled so bad.
These two kids moved and a spot on the wall opened up. Now today happened to be a super duper hot ass day. Now Dan Snyder is like hey. You know whats funny, its sooo hot out that people need water not even want they need it. We charge 4 dollers and make money off of fear of death.
Fuck you Dan Snyder.
Sorry for the rant, this wall spot was the shit because it provided leaning. My legs were all pooped out. On this wall this small boy and I discover a hole in the wall. I go through that shit and watch the rest of practive.
I spent too much money there on.
1 Hot Dog
1 Mango Orange Slushie
1 America Fries.
1 Mango Orange cold thing.
5? Water.
too much money.
Okay so all of that was just filler. Practice ends. The team spreads for signatures, this pansy of a man begins to complain about various things. I went under this rope into Redskins land. Fred Smoot was just bein all smooty like 4 feet from me.
Laron Landry signed my fucking Laron Landry Jersey. Dude has a lip piercing. Imagine that. He also rocks all white. This large lady next to me was none to happy about that.
After sneaking past all these fedex people there was nothing between me and a shit load of redskins stars like Colt Brennan, Fred Davis, Mike Sellers, Carlos Rogers, Todd Yoder, Kareem Moore, Rock Cartwright, I got signatures from all those dudes. They get so fucking sweaty, shits nasty, but they all touched my pen. Which is fucking sweet because I'm about to space jam 2 the redskins.
The end.
These are my ball.
